Alexa P. - "All I Did Was Stand in the Elevator"

I was standing in an elevator one day at the 13^th floor. I had just left for my lunch brake at precisely 1:12 am on Friday, May 13, 2011. When the elevator reached the next floor, it stopped abruptly causing me to spill my hot coffee all over my freshly printed tax papers. That was my one and only copy.

When the door opened, I saw the person that got on was a blind man and his seeing-eye dog. As the dog sniffed the coffee, it bolted straight up and licked me clean. When the dog’s blind owner came to help, he fell. While he fell, his dentures flew out of his mouth and into my briefcase. I stood there wet and the dog was licking the man’s dentures. The elevator continued to go down, unaffected throughout the entire ruckus.

Three floors later, the elevator jolted to a stop. When the door creaked open, a woman with her five small children also piled into the elevator. When they all got on, I’m pretty sure the elevator groaned.

When the children saw me, they must have thought that I was a human jungle gym. They all jumped on me, except for one who stood by his mother. When I looked down, I saw that they had ripped up my already soaking papers and were now yanking my hair. They finally left and went to their mom. However, the one that didn’t attack me slowly walked over and peed on my shoe.

To my anguish, the elevator stopped once again at the seventh floor. This time, when the door started opening I heard loud music. When I could see out of the door, it was six teenagers with a roaring boom box and no headphones. To my surprise, they ALL stepped into the already packed elevator. As the music was playing, they started dancing. When they did this, they did some pretty odd moves like the sprinkler, the shopping cart, and the lawn mower.

The loud noise and crazy dancing made the kids start crying and the dog go berserk. The dog started running around dragging his owner with him. This, of course, caused all of the people in the elevator to fall. When the dog got to me, he grabbed my pants and ripped them right down the side.

As everyone was getting up, it was the second floor. They all exited the elevator to my relief. I checked my phone; right in front of my eyes, it turned 1:14pm. I never really believed that Friday the 13^th at 1:13 was bad luck, but now I have a second opinion.

Maybe if I hurry, I could get a change of clothes and fix my hair. I am still hungry for my lunch break!